How to Support a Loved One With Mental Health Challenges: The Do’s and Don’ts

Supporting a loved one with mental health challenges can be both meaningful and emotionally taxing. Whether they are struggling with anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, trauma, or another condition, you may feel unsure about how best to help. You want to be there for them, but it’s not always clear what to say or how to act. The truth is, your support does matter. People facing mental health difficulties often feel isolated or misunderstood, and having even one compassionate person in their corner can be deeply impactful. 

However, being a source of support also means learning how to approach difficult moments with empathy, patience, and appropriate boundaries. At Family Psychiatry & Therapy in Paramus, we see firsthand how family involvement can either support or complicate the healing process. Below, we share practical “do’s and don’ts” to help you offer the kind of support that truly benefits your loved one.

The Do’s: What Helps When Someone Is Struggling

• Do listen without judgment. One of the most important gifts you can offer is your presence. Sit with them, listen to what they’re feeling, and avoid trying to solve everything right away. Simple, empathetic phrases like “That sounds really hard” or “I’m here for you” let them know they’re not alone.
• Do validate their emotions. People with mental health issues often hear that they’re overreacting or being dramatic. Validating their emotions helps counter this narrative. You can say things like, “It makes sense that you feel that way,” or “Anyone in your situation would feel overwhelmed.”
• Do encourage professional help. While your support is important, it’s not a substitute for clinical treatment. Encourage them to consider therapy, medication management, or psychiatric evaluation. At Family Psychiatry & Therapy, we work with children, teens, adults, and families to build customized care plans that address a wide range of mental health needs.
• Do respect their pace and boundaries. Healing doesn’t happen overnight. Don’t pressure your loved one to “cheer up” or “snap out of it.” Instead, ask how you can help and let them set the tone for how much they want to share. Your respect for their comfort zone builds trust.
• Do learn more about their condition. Take the time to educate yourself about their diagnosis, symptoms, and treatment options. Understanding what they’re experiencing helps you respond more effectively and reduces the likelihood of miscommunication or unintentional harm.
• Do offer practical help. Mental health challenges can make everyday tasks feel overwhelming. Offer specific support, such as driving them to appointments, cooking a meal, helping them make a phone call, or sitting with them during a tough moment. These small gestures often make a big difference.

The Don’ts: What to Avoid When Offering Support

• Don’t minimize their experience. Telling someone to “just think positive” or “get over it” sends the message that their feelings aren’t valid. Even if you mean well, these phrases can come across as dismissive. Avoid comparing their experience to your own or someone else’s—you can’t always see the full weight of what they’re carrying.
• Don’t offer unsolicited solutions. While it’s tempting to jump into fix-it mode, most people dealing with mental health issues aren’t looking for immediate advice. Instead of saying, “You should try this,” try asking, “Would it help if I offered some ideas, or would you prefer I just listen?”
• Don’t assume it’s personal. If your loved one seems distant, moody, or uninterested in socializing, it may be part of their condition—not a reflection of your relationship. Avoid taking things personally, and try to remain patient while giving them the space they may need.
• Don’t pressure them to talk. Sometimes, silence is part of healing. Not everyone is ready or able to put their feelings into words. Respect their silence while letting them know you’re available whenever they are ready to open up. Gentle check-ins are often more effective than pushing for conversation.
• Don’t ignore warning signs of crisis. If your loved one expresses suicidal thoughts, talks about self-harm, or shows sudden changes in behavior, take it seriously. Ask direct questions like, “Are you thinking about hurting yourself?”—and encourage immediate support. Call 911 or a crisis line if they are in danger.

Supporting Without Sacrificing Yourself

It’s easy to pour all your energy into someone else when they’re struggling, especially if they’re a close family member or partner. But being a good support person doesn’t mean neglecting your own emotional well-being. In fact, the stronger and more balanced you are, the more reliably you can show up for them. 

Give yourself permission to set boundaries. If you feel emotionally drained, overwhelmed, or unsure of how to continue supporting them, reach out for help yourself. This may include talking to a trusted friend, attending your own therapy sessions, or joining a support group for families. Also, keep in mind that you are not responsible for their healing. Your role is to walk alongside them, not to carry the entire burden. By maintaining balance in your own life, you model the kind of healthy, sustainable care you wish for them.

Call Family Psychiatry and Therapy When Professional Help Is Needed

Sometimes, the best way to support a loved one is to guide them toward qualified care. If they are open to it, help them explore treatment options that match their needs—therapy, psychiatry, group counseling, or medication management. You can even offer to help make appointments or accompany them to a session if they feel anxious about the process. 

At Family Psychiatry & Therapy, we offer personalized care for individuals and families dealing with a wide range of mental health challenges. Whether your loved one is a child, teenager, or adult, we can create a supportive and confidential environment where they feel seen, heard, and respected. We understand that mental health affects the entire family, which is why we also offer family therapy services. This allows everyone involved to express their feelings, improve communication, and build stronger support systems at home.

If someone you love is struggling with their mental health, you don’t have to figure it all out alone. Contact us today to learn more about how we can support your family with compassionate, expert care tailored to your unique needs.